How to press charges against someone?

A member of my family committed identity fraud against me (stole all of my retirement fund), and now I need to look into pressing charges. I don’t want to necessarily send the person to jail, but I need to get my money back. It was a pretty large amount, so I think that it would have to make them sell their house at the least.
Is there a way to go about pressing charges in this way? Also we are in 2 different states, so I’m not sure where I should be filing the complaint.

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